Why are we such a callous society?

For the past few weeks there has been innumerable debates on various platforms about a particular documentary by Leslee Udwin. Before we jump into the whys and the why nots, lets talk about what the hype is all about.

A few weeks ago, an Israeli born British film-maker released a documentary produced by the BBC. The subject of the documentary, the December 16th gang-rape of Jyothi Pande, also known as Nirbhaya to the general public. Now this subjected has been debated and shouted across all platforms and the horror is still fresh in our minds, what with the rapists still happily breathing in jail while the poor parents who have lost their daughter battle it out in courts for justice. With all this happening, do we really need someone to come and interview those criminals and their like-minded lawyers and then air their psychopathic views to the world? She then goes ahead and says that the documentary is a mirror which reflects the mentality of the Indian men. Where does she get off saying that? What does it say about the mentality of the person who gave screen space to those animals who brutally murdered and violated a young girl? She lets him justify his action! Isn´t that worse?

Then comes the part with the public opinion which was divided into three major parts. One part justified and supported Leslee for her actions and parroting her words that the documentary is a mirror and protested against the ban. Next we have the section of the society which was vehemently opposed to the documentary, supported the ban and questioned the film-maker on her motives. Finally we have the majority of the people who lived in ignorance of the documentary and if they possessed any knowledge of it decided it was a non-issue. I for one, belong to the second type and I am opposed to the documentary. My question is, what is the necessity? Had the film-maker considered the emotions of the victims family and friends, of their pain and loss? The BBC goes about lecturing the Indian Government about the Freedom of expression, for the sake of ratings is it okay to forget about the right to privacy? When she is questioned, the film-maker turns tail and runs, why, if she is as innocent as she claims to be? It almost seems like it´s their only way to show our country in a very bad light. Previously it was another British filmmaker who showed us in a bad light with Slumdog millionaire, now it´s Leslee Udwin with ´India´s Daughter´! Looks like she´s hoping for an Oscar too with all the hype she has created.

Then there are those who sit and talk of rape statistics in other nations, compare it and call them ´rape capitals´. What is this, the rape olympics? It´s a heinous,brutal crime that we are discussing here, not a burger eating competition to dismiss it so lightly! Instead of comparing the statistics why don´t we try to eliminate this evil? My opinion, fire that idiot surveyor and employ more personnel for protection. If this documentary where that creature blames the victims and his lawyers support him is aired, our country will suffer more. These creatures who have no conscience will take it into their heads that any crime will go unpunished.  My message to Leslee Udwin, people in glass houses should not throw stones! If you want to make a documentary about rape, do it in your country. And don´t you try to put our men in a corner, not every Indian male is a rapist or supporter of that evil. Do not malign an entire country because you met a few horrible excuses for human beings. 

Sweet, sticky and spicy...

Am talking of lamb chops children. If you thought something else, then you definitely gotta wash your thinking with some Harpic! Dirty Rotten Scoundrels! Anyway back to the topic on hand...Lamb chops. I always feel so immensely happy when there is something as robust as red meat for a meal, don't you? I get excited just thinking about it. Imagine pimping up an ordinary meal with some meat that has been slathered with this spicy, sticky and sweet marinade and dropped on a hot, sizzling pan till it is caramelised, juicy and falling off the bone. Ahhh, just warms the cockles of my cold, cold heart. And if you're eating this after months of depriving yourself of meat, you'll see heaven for a little while at least. I know I did. I swear to you, if you're not careful you might eat up your fingers, that's how tasty they are.

Normally I'd put up a picture at this point. But there was nothing left by the time I found the camera. I think it would be fair to say that the lamb chops disappeared at the speed of light. The idea for this recipe sadly is not original. The credits go to Nigella (my kitchen goddess) and Ravinder Bhogal (who in my opinion is a little fake). I know, I know...that is an unusual combination, if ever there was one. Nigella's spicy lamb chops are simplicity itself as she refers to it, but I felt that it lacked some zing, it needed something to make it more Indian to suit my taste buds. Sorry, Goddess. Lets introduce Ravinder at this point. For the most part, I feel Ravinder's recipes are unnecessarily complicated. But surprisingly her lamb chops were quite close to what I wanted. So came the idea to experiment on my own till I had the perfect lamb chops recipe.

And since I don't have any pictures to post,lets get right to the recipe. Now I have pictures!

Sweet, sticky and spicy Lamb Chops with Mint and pomegranate Raitha
Serves: 5-6

Lamb Chops
Ingredients:

Lamb Chops - 500 gms, cleaned
For the marinade:
2 teaspoons Fennel seeds, roasted till dark and ground
2 teaspoons Coriander powder, roasted till dark (take care not to burn)
2 teaspoons Paprika powder
1/2 teaspoon Ground pepper
3-4 Birds eye chillies, chopped very fine (adjust to your taste)
2 teaspoons Kodava Pork masala, recipe included below (I find that this particular ingredient makes the lamb chop taste even more exotic)
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 tablespoon Apple cider vinegar
1 teaspoon Ginger garlic paste
4 tablespoons Tamarind pulp
1/4 cup  powdered Jaggery or palm sugar
Salt to taste

Directions:
1. Mix all the ingredients for the marinade together in a large, shallow dish until you have a thick but spreadable paste. Dilute with a little oil if necessary, but don't thin it out too much.
2. Rub each lamb chop with the marinade, massage the meat so that it's well coated with the marinade on all sides. Place the lamb chops in the dish with the marinade, cover with cling and refrigerate for about 5-6 hours.
3. When ready to cook, preheat the oven to 200 degrees Celsius.
4. Place an oven-proof deep-bottom dish on medium-high heat, drizzle a bit oil on the pan. When it starts to smoke, place each lamb chop on the heated pan and cook on each side for about 2 minutes or until well caramelised on both sides. Take the dish off the heat, pour over the left-over marinade and cover with aluminium foil on top.
4. Place the dish in the preheated oven and bake for about 30-40 minutes until they are cooked. Serve hot with mint and pomegranate raitha.

Mint and Pomegranate Raitha
Ingredients:
1 cucumber, de-seeded and diced finely
1 cup thick yoghurt
1/2 a pomegranate's seeds
a small handful of  mint, chopped roughly
2 teaspoons sugar
1/4 teaspoon chaat masala
1/4 teaspoon Paprika
1/4 teaspoon Sumac powder
5-6 Pistachios, roughly chopped
Salt, to taste

Directions:
1. Into a medium-sized bowl, add the yoghurt, cucumber, half the pomegranate seeds, mint, sugar, salt and other spices. Mix well.
2. Garnish with the rest of the pomegranate seeds and roughly chopped nuts. Refrigerate until you serve.

Kodava Pork Masala
Now, being a Kodavathi, I can tell you how treasured this recipe is. Each family will have a recipe that differs slightly from others, because they each have a special ingredient that will enhance the taste. And every single one of those people are tight-lipped about their recipe, lest it gets out. This here is a basic recipe.

Ingredients:
4 tbsps whole coriander seeds
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 tbsp peppercorn
1/2 tsp mustard seeds
Few grains of fenugreek seeds
3-4 dry red chillies

Directions:
1. Roast all the ingredients separately until dark, but not burnt. Grind all of it to make the powered dark masala. Store in an air-tight container.

* With all the aromas of the roasted spices wafting around your kitchen, you'll feel like the 'Mistress (or master) of spices'. 

Notes:

I put the lamb chops back on a hot pan (without oil) once they were out of the oven, just for a few minutes to make sure they were cooked. We don't like out meat cooked rare. This also made sure the chops were extra caramelised and juicy. 

Do taste the marinade before you spread it over the chops, so that you can adjust it to your taste.

All this talk of Lamb chops has got me drooling again. And since there is nothing left over after our greedy piggy behaviour from last night; I just gotta satisfy my cravings with something else. Talking of Greedy pigs, it's unfair isn't it to liken our greed to that of piggies, considering they don't even eat Lamb chops. Poor Souls! 

Until next time then,

Happy baking and stuffing yourselves.

Forgive me Father for I have sinned...

Apparently this is gonna happen to me in the near future, for as the heading says I have sinned. Of the seven deadly sins, I seem to have committed at least 3 in the last few weeks. Now, before you get any ideas it was Greed, Envy and Pride. You see, I wanted to eat some Fried Ice-cream smothered in Chocolate Sauce with a sprinkling of nuts on top. Then, I envied all those who were eating just that and then what did I do? As if committing two sins weren't enough, I gave into my craving and made some Fried Ice-cream and...I was so proud of my creation, I gloated. I smothered it in chocolate sauce, sprinkled a few nuts on and tucked in like the greedy little piggy that I am. There you have it, three big sins in one evening! 

But the storm clouds, flesh and days, though scary do not really bother me. I mean, if I hadn't indulged my craving; then yeah, I would've been scared and really ticked off! But now, replete as I am...I say to the Good Lord, 'Bring it on'! That is, if He is ticked off, which am pretty sure the all-knowing Lord wouldn't be, having tasted Fried Ice-cream. If not, that'd be a real pity indeed! Not to be worried, I am pretty sure, the Lord can whip up a batch for Himself with my recipe.

Would you just look at that! How can the Lord be ticked off with that on offer?

 For those of you like me, who crave for ice-cream even in the chilly evenings of winter, this is the perfect dessert. If you feel it's too cold outside to eat ice-cream, just fry it. It follows the same theory of heating up something that is cold, I think. Once the ice-cream is fried, slosh some glossy, thick chocolate sauce over it. Lo and behold, you've got a marriage made in heaven! Now add some crunch with a sprinkling of chopped nuts. And you've just elevated it to a whole new level. With each mouthful, you get to savour the decadence of the chocolate, the heart-warming crunch of the hot crust and the icy-cool, still not melted ice-cream. Yumm! You know, there are very few things I think the Chinese have got right...this is definitely on top of that list.

Recipe

Fried Ice-cream with Chocolate Sauce

(Feeds as many or as few as you want/ or have the patience to fry)

Ingredients

500ml Vanilla Ice-cream 

1 pack Brittania Vita Marie Biscuits, crushed roughly

2 eggs, beaten well

Oil for deep frying

To Serve

Chocolate Ganache 

Chopped almonds

Directions

1. Line a tray that fits into your freezer compartment with foil. Using an ice-cream scoop, form 6 balls of ice-cream and place on the prepared tray. You can shape it slightly between your palms, but not for too long. Freeze for at least 2 hours.

2. Spread the biscuit crumbs on a shallow dish. Take each ball of ice-cream out of the freezer and give it a roll in the biscuit crumbs until neatly coated. Return to the freezer immediately. Freeze for a further 30 minutes. The reason I recommend taking each ice-cream ball out is so that the other ice-cream balls don't melt while you finish rolling all of them.

3. Once your 30 minutes are up, again taking each crumbed ice-cream out roll it in the beaten egg until you've coated it. Then quickly roll it in the crumbs until you have an even coat. Repeat with the rest of the ice-cream balls and freeze for 40-50 minutes. If you want a thicker crust, repeat the process again. I always do.

4. Heat the oil in a deep-bottom pot. Now remember that you want the oil to be really hot, so that the crust browns almost immediately. Leave it too late, you risk the ice-cream melting in the oil. Believe me, you don't want that. To check if the oil is really hot, drop a tiny bit of  the crushed biscuit into the oil and if it browns immediately it's hot enough. Lower the crumb-coated ice-cream one at a time into their oily bath. Fry till golden brown, about 30-40 seconds. Remove and place on plate. 

Enrobe the deep-fried, golden goodness with that silky chocolate ganache and add a smattering of chopped almonds and serve immediately to your awed guests and wait for the praise. Repeat with the rest. Oh! and don't forget to stuff your face too. Trust me, you wan't regret it.

Chocolate Ganache 

Ingredients

8 ounces (227 grams) semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, cut into small pieces
3/4 cup (180 ml) heavy whipping cream
2 tablespoons (28 grams) unsalted butter

Directions

Place the chopped chocolate in a medium sized heatproof bowl. Set aside. Heat the cream and butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. (Can also heat the cream and butter in the microwave.) Bring just to a boil. Immediately pour the boiling cream over the chocolate and allow to stand, without stirring, for a few minutes. Stir gently (as you do not want to incorporate air into the ganache) with a spoon or whisk until smooth.

Now go fry yourselves some ice-cream while I have a discussion with God.

Dear Lord,

I know I have sinned, but seriously can you blame me? It was your fault really. It was you who gave the idea to that wretched man who invented fried ice-cream. Had you not done that, we wouldn't be having this conversation at all. Well if you're still angry, here's a thought. The next time you're down here we can have that discussion on how many 'Hail Marys' I owe you. Or maybe I can make some fried ice-cream for ya. :) So what say, forgiven? ;)

P.S. we can always say that evil-spawn Satan put us in the way of temptation. With all the blame the guy gets, what's another? :P 

All my love,

Chaitanya

Food Glorious Food, in Udaipur

When I was in Udaipur, we spent most of our evenings in Chandpole which is the older part of town on the banks of The Pichola Lake and the City Palace. This is the Udaipur that they advertise to the world. It's colorful, bursting to the seams with teeny weeny alleys and houses which seems like it's made for miniature sized people. These alleyways have tinier stores selling lamps, books, silver jewelry, fake antiques, henna tattoos, gaily colored cotton apparel, leather goods, silk paintings, mosaics, the ever-present Rajasthani jutti (pointy shoes) and even lessons in Marwari/Mewari cuisine. Scattered among these are several eateries which vary from downright seedy (by which I mean stomach revolting) to the utter posh cafe like the Greek/French/German Bakeries. But we didn't go to any of these during first few days, NOPE...we were taken to the FC Restaurant (a.k.a Friends Club). Now do not go ahead and assume it was something like the palace in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani! This seedy corner in a very beautiful part of Udaipur's Old Town is neither a Club, nor should it be called a restaurant. I have mentioned seedy once already right, so am gonna call it shabby next, with shoddy service and crappy food (If it should be called food!). The only saving grace, it's right on the banks of the lake, which IS prime real estate, if you ask me and even better the view of the City Palace bathed in golden light (artificial, but very clever lighting). The staff comprises of one very harassed waiter who will inform you that half the stuff printed in the menu is unavailable and the bar offers only beer (The cheap variety) and really cheap rum! As if Udaipur is in Barbados or some other fancy tropical setting, Rum indeed! Am gonna go on a limb and say there is a cook in their teeny, weeny kitchen, coz the thought of that sad faced waiter managing the kitchen/bar and the till is just depressing. And to top it, the restaurant (lets call it that for now) has poor lighting and lives off the 'Golden Glow' from the palace on the opposite side of the lake (Scrooge much!). The reason am telling you this is coz none of our faces are visible in any of the pictures. The restaurant has a beautiful doorway though (Okay another plus point, I agree I can't count...but it's deceiving, okay), it's intricately carved wood which I'd bet my last penny is antique, but don't be fooled by this...It really is an awful place. Which says something about us for going back again! Not all us wanted to, but a group always has some penny-pinching dumbshit who won't even consider an alternative. 

Speaking of the alternative, there are two places (for those on a budget) that is definitely not to be missed. First lets talk about Ambrai in Ameth haveli, coz am just in love with this place (also proves I have brilliant taste coz I wanted to go there first, and the rest said no assuming it would tear a hole in their pockets). It's a Haveli Hotel (no surprises why I love those) again, on the banks of the lake, but even better their restaurant area not only shows you the City Palace, but also the Taj Lake Palace (remember Octopussy, if you don't know...go watch it now idiot!), Gangaur Ghat which is right next to it and if you would just turn your neck all swan-like just a bit, you can see the Oberoi Udaivilas (from Yeh Jawaani hai deewani). Ambiance: beautiful subtle lighting, mood music and warm staff (as in plural). Food & Drink: Amazing, do try the Dhungri Maas (comes with a lump of coal sizzling on top). I liked the Margarita (or maybe it tasted good coz I'd been craving some as mentioned in my previous post). Cost: I felt moderate (more along the lines of that bloody FC with better everything). The pool is to die for...it's right opposite the garden, but hidden in the shade of fragrant Frangipani trees (makes you itch to take a dip). Mind you, the restaurant here serves lunch only in peak season ( October-February) and anyway dinnertime is more exciting, so no bother.

View of Taj Lake Palace from Ambrai

The City Palace

Mohit, Shraddha and I in Ambrai

Next place, The Lake Picchola Hotel, which by the way is right next to that awful FC! This is another Haveli Hotel, on the banks of the lake, they even have a jetty and the wrought iron staircase has bougainvillea!  As you enter, you find a cobblestone pathway with a beautiful garden and leafy palm fronds (mystifying...I felt it looked right out of an Arabian Palace) which leads to the concierge and restaurant. The chandeliers, lamps and mirrors in this place I tell you are just breathtakingly beautiful. My eyes popped at the opulence. Highly polished antique wood furniture and antique fans whirring over my head (woohoo, I was in heaven for a while). The staff, warm and welcoming. I've just told you about the ambiance. Food & Drink: Excellent, we loved the Laal Maas and Ker Sangri. I had a Grey Goose Martini which was really good. Cost: Moderate and again that stupid FC cost almost the same. They do have a rooftop Pool and restaurant called 'Upre', but we didn't go there. This place has the most amazing washrooms, Shraddha and I just loved it, the mirrors, fancy antique-y faucets and all! By the way, this place has been around a really long time, it was built in 1559 A.D.

Laal Maas and ker Sangri

Told you we fell in love with the washroom

Yeah well, if you had to stay in KVK for 10 days you'd be excited too when you saw all those fancy stuff!

And for those who want something cheaper still, you have the German Bakery or Cafe Edelweiss as it's known. Do not step into the French or Greek Bakeries, these places just have fancy names and nothing else to offer, though the cold coffee in the French Bakery is not all that bad (or that was just because Jahnavi and I were really tired and thirsty). The Greek bakery does not have a single Greek pastry to save their name, and I went in expecting to eat Baklava! Although the German Bakery doesn't have any German cuisine, you still can get a lovely apple pie, chocolate almond tart, decent sandwiches/ burgers and a lovely refreshing lemonade. There were several other things on display, but I didn't try them. This cafe is really a hole in the wall kind of place, tucked in between two shops selling artwork near the lake.

Chocolate almond tart, or whats left of it

It's cute how they serve lemonade

There is another place called 'Savage Garden' which I wanted to visit solely because they featured it on a TV show 'Highway on my plate with Rocky and Mayur' on NDTV Goodtimes. Rocky and Mayur had some nice things to say, but my friend Mohit said it was 'Bakwaas'! They serve Italian food with an Indian twist, if you're interested. 

Then there is 'Millets of Mewar' for those of you who want or are interested in experimenting with vegan (I like to call it pretend vegan, they serve egg) food. We did go there, and I found it too Bleh! They cater mainly to the foreign clientele and am sure most of them go back disappointed. The food is ok, and for Gods sake do not try their juice, so not worth the grimace that they induce upon tasting! The ambiance is decent and quite interesting actually, but it is expensive. 

See Shraddha's expression after a sip of that God-awful juice.

Finally, for those with a sweet tooth like me, Udaipur is your haven. Really, from kulfi on the street, steaming Gulab Jamuns in tiny sweet stalls to Malai Ghevar in Jodhpur mishtan Bhandar. It's a sweet paradise. But for heaven's sake do not miss out on that Malai Ghevar, unfortunately I do not have a picture to show...we ate it up so fast. It's the devils incarnate itself and I better stop typing right now, or am gonna end up cleaning drool from my keyboard. Sigh! I am strengthening my resolve to go back sometime in the near future. After all, I still haven't seen the Lake Palace or Udaivilas or Sajjangarh Fort!

And the next time I'll tell you all about my experiments with that Chocolate Almond Tart from Udaipur.

Until then, Loads of love...

Chaitanya